Advent Reflection: Day 23

Monday, December 21

1 Samuel 1:1–18; Hebrews 9:1–14

Have you ever felt like you just weren’t good enough, whether it be in school, at the sport you were involved in, or at the instrument you played? No matter how much you practiced or how much you studied, you never felt like it was enough. I can think of countless times throughout my life when I felt like I wasn’t “good enough.” A time that sticks out the most is when I came to Divinity school. I have never felt more like I didn’t belong than I did sitting in New Testament on my first day of Divinity school. All I could think about was how unequipped I appeared to be compared to everyone else around me. I had a basic understanding of scripture, but I had never even read the Bible completely through. In my mind, reading the Bible cover to cover was a requirement in order to enter seminary. No one made me feel that way or gave me that idea, but I was carrying around insecurities that I had allowed to manifest and grow.

We do this all the time. We allow ourselves to be bogged down with feelings of inadequacy and these feelings of not being worthy. We don’t just do this with sports, or in school, or if we play an instrument; so often we do this with our faith too. We decide that we are unworthy and that we are not enough when God has shown us the complete opposite.

In Hebrews 9:1–10, the scripture tells us of an immaculate place of worship, this perfect, holy place allowing entrance only by a high priest to give a goat or calf’s blood sacrifice for the sins of all people outside the tent. Where I am in my life today, I could not imagine being left outside of the tent. Talk about not feeling good enough? The idea that my relationship with God was dependent on an annual tabernacle visit by a priest? No thank you. In this time of Advent, I remember as I do every year just how powerful God’s love is. It is during this time that we are reminded of the most precious gift ever to be received, the promise of God’s eternal love for us through Christ. In verses 11–14, we are reminded that because of the sacrifice of himself Christ gave, we are no longer left outside. How sweet it is to know in the eyes of God we are more than enough, and we will never be left outside the tent again.

Sarah Laurence
School of Divinity Student